When you don't have any money, the problem is food.
When you have money, it's sex.
When you have both, it's health.
If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death.

-- J. P. Donleavy

ُThe good news is that a filling will take care of it.

I'm going for the root canal.

There are three canals, two of them are bent. It's a difficult case !

I have to continue on Monday and hopefully we can finish it in one or two more sessions. We'll see, maybe I would need to refer you to a specialist. And we'll talk about the costs later.

Captain ! can I see you sometime on Friday ?
Captain ! I have a question about the second problem, can me meet soemtime tomorrow.
Captain ! Can we ... ?

Year 2002 (USA)

(++) Jan 1 and 2 – New Year Holidays . _ . _ . _
(+) Jan 21 – Martin Luther King Jr. Day . _. _. _. _
(+) Feb 14 - St. Valentine’s Day . _. _. _. _
(+) Mar 8 - Intl. Women’s Day . _. _
(+) Mar 17 - St. Patrick’s Day . _. _
(+) Mar 29 – Good Friday
(+) Apr 1 – Easter / April’s Fool Day . _. _. _. _. _. _
(+) May 12 – Mother’s Day . _. _. _. _. _
(+) Jun 16 – Father’s Day . _. _. _
(+) Jul 4 – Independence Day . _. _. _. _. _. _. _. _. _. _. _. _
(+) Sep 8 – Grandparent’s Day . _. _. _. _. _. _. _
(+) Oct 14 – Colombus Day . _. _. _. _. _. _. _. _
(+) Nov 28 – Thanksgiving Day . _. _. _. _. _. _
(+) Dec 25 – Christmas

(+) = 15 (-) = 0

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

One more drink and I'd be under the host. Dorothy Parker

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.Oh,I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does notgo nearly as well with pizza. Dave Barry's Bad Habits, Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart

Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. David Moulton

A drink a day keeps the shrink (psychiatrist) away. Edward Abbey

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI