- The last few days leading up to her murder people were throwing feces at her office. Feces. Can you believe that ?
- With enough sauce, you can make anything edible.

From a Workaholics Anonymous meeting:
"Hi, My name is Peter and I am a workaholic...
Where should I start ?
Well, I aced college. Got my Ph.D. in two years. Got a high paying job right away and I was promoted to the director of my department in six months. I am getting about one patent every week to my name... I have more than eight million dollars in stock options.
I bought a Victorian house and renovated it from bottom up by myself in three weeks which has added fifty percent to the value of the house. I have my own garden and grow my own fruits and vegetables and cook all my meals...
I have won two statewide chess championships...
It goes on and on. I don't know why I am doing this to myself. It's awful. My wife left me for a couch potatoe. My sisters don't talk to me. My whole life is falling apart..."

First it was Bob Edwards, the man. Today it's Bill Moyer. O' Brother.

- Dude, I keep throwing stuff into my bag and I totally forget about them.
- Your bag will eventually get full.

it hell see food.

The question is, who really killed Laura Palmer ?

I am here today to eat all your food, not to make any sense.

Thou shall not torture your inmates on Sabbath. You got that ?

- Did you get a chance to believe in the hands of God ?
- Not yet.
- Then wait until they start working their way up your behind.

DJ World

My mother is a DJ.
My father's brother in his own twisted way is a DJ.
My mother's father is a relatively well known DJ.
My best friend is a kick-ass DJ.
My next door neighbor is driving her family nuts practicing to become a DJ.
My college roommate makes money by match-making club owners and DJs.
My ninth grade geometry teacher is now a dull DJ.
My auntie hasn't given up on trying to find an actual job as a DJ.
My middle school's second crush lives in eastern Alaska and is a sexy and talented DJ.
My tax lawyer says he doesn't see much of a difference in what he does and being a DJ.
My stock broker contemplates being a DJ.
The guy I crashed into his brand new Cadillac when I was learning to drive had in the back of his car most of the stuff that are needed by a DJ.
My Yoga teacher confessed to me one day that he mostly meditates by being his own DJ.
My motorcycle mechanic says his wife is the only thing that keeps him from becoming a DJ.
My therapist's hobby is to rent a dance video with a DJ in it, mute the TV and watch the DJ.
The club owner of the place I perform every other Tuesday night makes more than any DJ in this town and is still jealous of every DJ.
My hiking companion has compulsive daydreams of becoming a DJ. He doesn't know whether to go to therapy about it or to quit his job and actually become a DJ.
The angry cleric rebel longs to be a DJ.
The hot chick on the cover of November's Home and Garden was crushed when she was told she has no talent for becoming a DJ.
The red haired single mom who hangs out at our not-so-friendly Bingo parlor was asking my mother the other day about life as a DJ.
The picnic organizer at my sick aunt's church thinks it's a good idea to replace the organ player with a DJ.
My sister-in-law takes pride in marrying a happy successful DJ and now is sending her five year old son to take lessons to become another happily married successful DJ.
My grand grandfather was the first one from my family to become a DJ.
The high school kids these days find it cool to be a DJ.
My aunt's older sister has been shopping for records for the past 12 years to
someday become a DJ.
My state's younger senator used to be a notoriously aggressive DJ and he says after his term he is going back to it to be a DJ.
My president's retirement plan is to go to southern Florida and become a DJ.


I could be so at peace with the rest of the world if only I didn't despise as much as I do, the idea of being a DJ.

Inspired by Heavy Rock from Drummer.

Something stops me from asking Tony's girlfriend "So, are you both retarded or you just put up with him ?"

- Are you a celebrity ?
- Yeah.
- Can I have your urine sample ?

- never been to Guatemala ?
- no.
- how come ?
- just didn't happen.

Fuck over =

eg.
It was really unfair to humiliate and fire Alexander the way they did. The poor guy was totally fucked over.

Dear Bob Edwards,

Thank you for all you have done.

Best,
Captain Haddock

bon-thursday

Give me back my SCRUBS, sucker !

je veux finir ma vie a kathmandu.

There was one American who did not leave Rwanda in 1994. His name is Carl Wilkens.

- Johnnie, I am not going to fight your fights for you.
- Yeah, I know. But would you be man enough to lotion my back ?

Johnnie, you're alright.

mal-thursday

yeah, I know this is not original but,
if you could erase selectively parts of your memory,
would you ? and which parts ?
i would start from the unpleasant memories of childhood...

- Johnnie, why don't you get married ?
- I hate to choose between six shades of white and all that.

Johnnie will be licking frogs all week long. God bless you, Johnnie.

how come there isn't any singers with a gay or lesbian theme ?

I'm gonna keep looking at you,
from the corner of
the corner of
my left eye.

I wonder what Maureen Dowd would score on GRE verbal. She knows quite a few words.

Here is a quickie movie review and we shall move on:

* The station agent (++)
One fine independent flick
* Fog of war (+)
Documentary on McNamara the director of Vietnam War. Educational but, breaks no new ground.
* House of sand and fog (–)
What can you do? The story sucks.
* The revolution will not be televised (++)
Documentary on Venezuelan coup in 2002. History on film.
* 21 grams (-)
Beating it’s own genre and putting a shit load of tragedy into your face to make you ponder the meaning of life.
* Intimacy (undecided)
* The good thief (- -)
pointless mayhem of gambling, organized robbery and suchlike. Dissuaded me to see director's latest movie: the cooler.

41. Being raised in an evironment where things have been different from what I had wanted them to be has made me ...
A) a daydreamer
B) a realist
C) yawning
D) a Dean fanatic
E) a scotch connoisseur